SCIENCE CONFIRMS IT'S TIME TO KILL WHITEY

Austin, TX (Oct 12, 2008) - It's time to kill whitey, and kill him hard, a new survey by National Semiconductor Laboratory scientists suggests. "The evidence is conclusive," said Horatio Philegaster, PhD., hunched over a microscope. "The time to kill whitey is now."

"The above is 100% fact," said Darius T. Booker-Washington, author of the popular _Triumph of the Minivan_ blog which criticizes white people for their impotent, pathological, hollow pursuit of material wealth and gadgets while their civilization declines to third world status. "White man falling, black man rising, might as well help nature along," he suggested. "It ain't personal."

Caucasians, known in the vernacular as "white people" despite their pinkish or tan hue, were once creators of great civilizations in Rome, Greece, possibly India, and northern Europe. At this time, Caucasians are divided between ineffective stripes of politics while pursuing the good life by having hip media, swift places to live, supafly foodie goodies, fast cars and a sense of moral self-worth by helping the unfortunate, dispossessed, oppressed and simply un-hip.

Many Caucasians, dismayed at how their race has degenerated from world-conquerors into couch-sitting blogs obsessed with their Xbox 360s and arugula sandwiches, have given up and turned on the idea of collective racial alliance by becoming "Icy Hot Stuntaz," dressing like their favorite African-American gangsta rap artists and speaking in the Hollywood-mediated parlance of the ghetto.

"White people acting black is old news," said Philegaster. "Whitey has outlived his usefulness. It's time to kill whitey, and kill him hard. Don't yield the street to Casper. Just whip out that gat and end the drama. That's what our research says, and I heartily concur. Now if you'll excuse me, I gots some bitches to ball and the liquor don't drink itself."